The Group Chat at Work Without Me

A story about exclusion, confidence, and why work relationships shouldn’t own your life.

This is a story about a woman who worked at a tax accounting firm.

The office was divided into two teams—Team 1 and Team 2. She was the team leader of Team 1.

I’ll tell the story from her perspective.

I. The Group Chat I Wasn’t In

Not long after returning to work from a three-month maternity leave, she was having lunch with her team members when someone suddenly said:

“Team leader, you’re really bad at reading the room.”

“Huh?”

“There was a group chat. The Team 2 leader made it.
Everyone was in it—except you.”

“So… why are you telling me this now?”

“While you were on leave, we worked with the Team 2 leader.
She kept saying the workload was too much and cried a lot.
In the end, we had to split her work among ourselves.”

The team member continued, carefully:

“You always did the most work. And even when you complained, you still helped us finish our tasks quickly.”

“We’re really sorry… about before.”

After a brief pause, she replied calmly:

“You guys are awful.
But thank you for telling me now.”

And that was it.

She chose to clear everything in that moment—cleanly, all at once.

II. Why It Didn’t Hurt as Much as You’d Expect

Strangely, hearing about a group chat that excluded her didn’t hurt that much.

When the chat existed, she was overwhelmed with work, and exhausted from childbirth and childcare. She didn’t even know it was there.

And the fact that the team members came to tell her themselves meant one thing: the chat had already collapsed.

But the biggest reason was simpler.

She had confidence.

She handled more work than anyone else on the team and knew the job better than anyone.

Even if a few people suddenly left, the work would still move forward.

At that point in her career, her market value was high. If she wanted, she could move to another firm, or even transition to a general company role, without much difficulty.

That’s why she was able to let go of “the group chat without me” right there at the table.

III. Thoughts About the Team 2 Leader

What bothered her most was this: the Team 2 leader had always acted as if she genuinely cared about her.

She never expected a betrayal like that.

In the past, someone senior to her once clashed with her repeatedly and eventually said:

“I’ve never met someone like you.
This is disgusting. I’m leaving.”

She wasn’t an easy person to deal with.

At least with people who fight back directly, you know where you stand.

But the Team 2 leader was different.

She seemed like the type who would completely fall apart if confronted even once.

Fighting someone like that felt pointless—unwinnable.

And at the time, all of her attention was on her first child. Beyond doing her work, she had no emotional energy left to manage workplace relationships. So she chose to ignore it.

IV. What a Company Really Is

We spend a large part of our lives at work.

Over time, company tasks and workplace relationships start to feel extremely important.

But if you step back and think about it, you never really know how long you’ll stay at any one company.

And we don’t join companies for relationships. We join them because we need income.

The relationship that deserves the most care is family.

As for the company—if relationships are good, fine. If they’re bad, that’s fine too.

Whether someone excludes you, or you distance yourself from others,

is it really worth exhausting yourself emotionally over a place you might leave one day anyway?

Work can be a big part of life,
but it doesn’t have to be your whole life.

*This is a personal experience story. Names and details have been generalized.