Why I Left a Company I Worked at for 11 Years at 45

I would like to share why I decided to leave a company I had worked for over 11 years, at the age of 45.

In my 30s, I would sometimes talk to my wife about how hard work was. But once I reached my mid-40s, I stopped doing that. I didn’t want to worry her.

After struggling quietly on my own for about three months, it started to show—on my face and in my behavior.

In the end, my wife couldn’t stand watching anymore and told me to quit. She asked how anyone could live like that. But she also made one condition: we still had to live, so even if it was a small amount, I needed to bring home a paycheck.

I didn’t quit right away after hearing that, but strangely enough, her words were a great comfort.

I decided that I would leave no matter what, as long as there was a place that paid me something. It was unsettling, but I got an opportunity to join a startup that was just beginning, and I submitted my resignation.

At First, It Was a Company I Wanted to Stay with Until Retirement

Before joining this company, I had worked at two small businesses with around 20 employees. I was recruited—almost like a scout—for the same type of product, and moved to my current company, which had around 300 employees and was publicly listed.

I felt proud to be moving to a larger company, and the CEO was a good person.

I liked the product, it was something I was good at, and the overall atmosphere of the company was positive. I genuinely thought I could stay there until retirement.

Of course, there were moments when I thought about quitting, but those were the kinds of thoughts most office workers have from time to time.

However, as I entered my 40s, things gradually became harder, and eventually, I reached a point where I could no longer endure it.

The reasons people leave a company are rarely just one or two things. In most cases, several factors overlap.

The First Reason: A Gradually Declining Salary

When I changed jobs at 34, my salary was in the top 70–80% compared to the average. But 11 years later, at age 45, my salary had fallen to around the middle—about the 50th percentile for my age group.

Even with close friends I met casually, I felt too embarrassed to talk about my salary.

Whenever work became overwhelming or stress got out of control, these thoughts often crossed my mind:

“Is it really worth doing all this… for this pay?”

“Do I really need to keep working at a company like this?”

Those questions came up more often than I’d like to admit.

The Second Reason: Being Completely Consumed by Work

There were several rounds of restructuring. During the second one, my team was dissolved, and the colleagues I had worked closely with were scattered.

Two years later, during the third restructuring, the company returned to its previous system, and the old team members were brought back together. I was put in charge of that team.

But during those two years, sales for our product had been cut in half, and several highly capable colleagues had already left the company.

I felt immense pressure to recover sales and somehow rebuild a team without enough experienced people.

Even when there was no urgent issue, I would arrive before 7 a.m. and leave only after 8 p.m.

One day, I woke up from stress in the middle of the night and went to the office at 3 a.m., just staring at my monitor. I believe I was around 43 at the time.

When sales improved even slightly, everything felt fine. But when sales dropped or problems arose, my mood hit rock bottom. My emotional ups and downs became extreme.

When work didn’t go well, the depression that followed was especially painful.

The Third Reason: Conflict with My Superior

Like many office workers, I also struggled with conflict with my boss.

He had been my team leader for over eight years, and when he was promoted to division head, the conflict began.

During the second restructuring, the performance of the product we had handled together in sales and marketing was recognized, and he was promoted.

As the company shifted from product-based sales to regional sales, the team I had worked in was dissolved.

As the second-in-command, I expected to lead the team, but instead, I was assigned as a European sales representative— neither here nor there.

Two years later, with the third restructuring, the old system returned, and I became the team leader again.

That was when the real conflict began.

Other team leaders responded to his instructions with, “Yes, I understand.” But when I thought something was wrong, I said so.

From that point on, whenever it was my turn to speak in meetings, I was questioned sharply—even on issues that could have been overlooked. He understood the situation well, yet still attacked with overly theoretical questions.

Before weekly meetings, I prepared for every possible line of questioning, and even on weekends, I was stressed just thinking about them.

I know it would have been easier if I had just flattered him and bowed my head. But I couldn’t do that.

As this silent battle dragged on, going to work itself became unbearably difficult.

The Fourth Reason: Relationships with Subordinates Were Also Difficult

With a superior, at least the choice—whether to submit or not—felt like it was mine. But with subordinates, I honestly didn’t know what the right answer was.

He was a junior who had treated me well, and someone I relied on a lot.

At some point, he began taking unnecessary business trips and acting more and more on his own judgment.

As a team leader, I should have addressed it clearly, but because of our relationship, I couldn’t.

His behavior gradually crossed the line, and each time, I swallowed my frustration.

Once, even though he had no intention of quitting, he hinted at resignation to pressure me.

Only later did I realize it was a bluff. From that moment on, my feelings toward him changed.

Even though he wasn’t my boss, talking with him became emotionally exhausting.

If I had focused more on the work than the relationship, I should have said what needed to be said. But I couldn’t.

This, too, became another source of stress.

The Final and Most Decisive Reason: I Couldn’t See a Future

A new product we had developed over three years failed at the final quality stage and was ultimately abandoned.

The products we were currently selling were already being sold in China at lower prices with similar quality, leaving us with little competitiveness.

A new product was essential to see the next market, but that possibility was fading.

Rumors of a fourth restructuring were spreading, and the development team that had worked on the new product had already left.

We might have been able to survive for a while, but it was clear that within five years, there would be nothing left to sell.

When I imagined myself remaining in a business unit with no future, I felt only anxiety.

I know my age was already late, but thinking about a department that would disappear in five years only added to the stress.

When I joined the company at 34, this is what I believed:

“If I work hard, I’ll become an executive, my salary will increase, and even if life isn’t luxurious, I’ll be able to live decently after retirement.”

But at 45, what I was left with was a fragile sense of pride I was barely holding onto, and the harsh reality of not knowing how to live from here on.

I learned—far too late—that in the workplace, “working hard” alone guarantees nothing.