The end of a startup company I joined at the age of 45...

I. By Sheer Luck

I thought I would be able to stay at the company where I had worked for 11 years until retirement. But the growing pressure and unfairness tightened around me day by day, and for more than three months I kept thinking, “If I had anything else I could do, I would walk out right now.”

Then one day, a senior manager I had worked with for many years met an investor and came to me with a proposal: "Why don't you come and work with me at a startup?"

I handed in my resignation and finally escaped the place that had been so exhausting for me. I felt as if I had escaped from a situation where I could barely breathe.

II. Hope and Confidence

I reached out to former colleagues who were working in different places and asked if they wanted to join us.

In the new office, I had my own desk. The team was coming together, the space was forming, and as we defined what needed to be done, everyday commuting started to feel hopeful.

Although our key engineer never joined as planned and some of our original plans fell apart, small deals slowly began to happen.

Our dream was to build a company where there would be no mandatory retirement age.

At company dinners we sometimes joked, "Let’s make this company successful so we can all work here until we’re 70."

III. Passion and Effort

We did have a CEO who invested in the company, but everyone worked with the mindset that this was our company.

We took on every job that could bring in money, and pulling all-nighters to meet deadlines felt natural and necessary.

I believed this would be my last workplace, and that if this company succeeded, my life and my family’s life would be stable.

Once, right before the Chuseok holidays, I worked through the night and was driving back from Gumi at dawn. Instead of feeling resentful about the long hours, I felt genuinely happy that the work had gone well. The cool dawn breeze on my way home felt unbelievably refreshing.

IV. Cracks and a Company Turning into Routine

Two of the founding members who had shared the original dream with me left the company after two years.

A colleague who had seemed like we would work together “forever” suddenly resigned.

I hadn’t expected a huge jackpot at the beginning of the business, but I did hope that, as the company grew, I would be able to plan a stable life.

However, as three years passed with only enough sales to scrape by, I started to feel anxious, wondering, “How long can this company survive?”

The early atmosphere of “Let’s build this together” slowly disappeared, and the company became just like any other place, where you learn not to speak up about anything outside your own area.

V. Delayed Salaries

After four years at the company, my salary started to be delayed from time to time.

At first, I tried to comfort myself by thinking, “These things happen. Once we get through this period, it will be fine.”

But every delay made me more uneasy, and looking at the company’s situation, it didn’t feel like things would improve.

In the worst-case scenario, I couldn’t help but think, “What if the company goes bankrupt…?”

I had joined this startup at 45, full of hope. But by the time I turned 49, what I faced was a dark, heavy anxiety.

“I worked so hard… how did I end up like this?”

Age 49.

My wife was dragging herself to work every day, her health damaged from stress. Our children were in middle school and high school, at an age when expenses only grow.

We still had to keep paying off the mortgage on our apartment.

To maintain our current lifestyle, I needed a job, but the company I was working for was struggling so much that even salaries were delayed.

At 45, when I quit my previous job, I felt like I was dying from the office politics there. But at 49, the reality I was facing felt as if my entire life of hard work was being denied.

VI. What Did I Do Wrong?

People say, “If you follow what you love instead of chasing money, the money will naturally follow.”

Why did I believe those one-off comments from people who happened to make a lot of money?

I truly liked my work and I worked hard, but money did not naturally follow.

“Rather than just doing what you love, you need to chase work that actually makes money if you want any chance of avoiding a miserable life after 49.”

“Only certain people are born to be bosses.”

To me, that sounds like business owners telling their employees, “You’ll just stay an employee forever.”

But being an employee is only realistic up to a certain age — maybe until your late 40s.

“It’s not about being born a boss. To avoid a harsh reality after 49, every employee needs to prepare some kind of self-employment in advance.”

“You have to try your best in everything.”

But if “everything” includes your company job, it often means that only the boss, or the people above you who control your time, truly benefit.

“Don’t pour yourself into everything. Pour yourself into what is truly yours — the work that actually brings money to you.”

“Everything has its time.”

If you just wait until you’re 49, it becomes nearly impossible to even start.

“The right time is the moment you start thinking, ‘Maybe I should start now.’ That thought itself is your timing.”