On the way home after working late,
there are moments when a thought slips in.
“I did this much… and this is all I get?”
Did I do something wrong?
Or is the company the one that’s wrong?
If you’ve worked long enough, you’ve probably asked yourself this at least once.
I. How you become “the dependable one”
People often say this about interviews:
“The company evaluates me, but I evaluate the company too.”
In reality, that’s rarely how it feels.
There are dozens—sometimes hundreds—of applicants, and the company gets to choose.
Meanwhile, we’re just hoping to be chosen by at least one place.
Once you finally get in,
you do everything you can to be recognized.
- You stay late when the workload explodes.
- If you have evening plans, you come in early to finish what you can.
- If it still won’t work, you show up on the weekend “just for a bit.”
- And when things don’t go well, you keep thinking about work even after you’re home.
That’s how you become someone for whom work comes first—
what people call “a high-performing employee.”
II. The moment resentment began
During a two-week business trip in Europe, I contracted meningitis.
Three days before returning, it felt like my head might split open.
On the day I came back, I tried to endure it at home—until I couldn’t—
and ended up in the emergency room.
- Two spinal taps
- My mother’s worry
- My wife’s tears
I was discharged after ten days.
I had lost eight kilograms.
Later, my family told me:
“We honestly thought you might not get up again.”
What the company did was simple:
they covered part of the medical bills with welfare points.
And not long after that,
I was passed over for promotion.
There was only one reason.
I hadn’t completed the required training for promotion.
It was so “fair” that it felt cold.
Until then,
I had never thought overtime—or weekend work—was unfair.
At first, I tried to convince myself:
“From the company’s perspective, I guess that makes sense.”
But every time I heard how much the promoted people were now earning,
the resentment kept growing.
“I missed the training because I got sick on a business trip…”
III. What was actually wrong?
And yet,
I kept doing my best,
almost out of sheer inertia.
The resentment hadn’t disappeared,
but I couldn’t find a reason to stop.
One early morning, I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep.
So I went to the office—at 3 a.m.
There wasn’t anything urgent.
I just felt like I had to do something.
Looking back, I think it came from this:
- A desire to be better than others.
- A belief that hard work would be rewarded.
- The illusion that the company was a precious place where my goals—and rewards—would come true.
That’s why it hurt more.
That’s why I thought the company was the problem.
IV. A job is where the company does company things
Only with time did I finally see it.
The company was simply doing what companies do.
A corporation has clear priorities:
No matter how kind the boss may be,
organizations still move to protect those priorities.
From the company’s perspective,
I was just one of the employees who worked hard.
Even when I was lying in a hospital bed,
what likely mattered most to HR and General Affairs was this:
“Does this count as an industrial accident… or not?”
Even after I returned, I remember conversations like:
“If we handle it this way, it becomes an industrial accident—so let’s process it differently.”
V. The illusion created by working too hard
“My precious place.”
Looking back, it sounds almost ridiculous.
I wasn’t even paying to be there.
So why did I treat the company’s space like it was mine?
When you work too hard,
your expectations of the company grow.
And when those expectations aren’t met,
they come back as disappointment—and resentment.
Maybe that’s why people say this:
“Just do what everyone else does. Don’t try so hard.”
Do only as much as your paycheck pays for—
and you won’t feel disappointment, or betrayal.
“Executives and employees are all owners of the company.”
Back then, I believed that line—and ran with it.
And I think that’s why it hurt more.
Who came up with that sentence, anyway?
The owners of a company are not its employees.
It’s the owner.
You are not the owner—
so please don’t live like one.
Don’t grind your entire life into your job.
